I remember when I was a child, if I asked my mother where she was going, her answer more often than not was "Crazy! Wanna come?" I get it now. I am on my way to Crazy and I'm driving in the fast lane. I'm starting to see the signs announcing my exit. A room has been reserved in my name at the Last Resort. I hope there's a cocktail (or two) waiting when I get there.
If you are there when I arrive, please don't think me rude. I am not there to socialize, just show me to my room. I hope to make my stay there short- there's not much that I will need. A quiet place to rest my head and my cocktail(s) if you please. I have not met this woman you speak of, I think "Mommy" is her name and I'll ignore all requests for assistance for the remainder of my stay.
I simply want to sit upon the porcelain throne-alone. I do not care to have an inquisitive witness, chattering away while I attempt to do my business. I do not need a tiny hand assisting me when I'm done. Although I know it's done with love, I can do without the tiny squares of paper wadded up between her thumbs.
And just before I head to bed, the shower's where I'll be. There will not be a time limit, for fear all hell's breaking loose. I'll take my time to lather, rinse AND repeat. I'll carefully shave my legs and make sure I've not missed a spot. Then stand and let the water run until it's no longer hot.
I know my stay in Crazy may be shorter than I need, so I won't waste much time. I'll slip under the covers for a restful night of slumber. I will not have to race to sleep before the snoring starts. I will not have to fight a tiny preschooler for a spot upon my bed. I will not have to wake to nurse before the sun begins to rise. I will sleep until the clock announces that it's check out time.
This has been a particularly rough week. How many of you have been on the road to Crazy? Comment and let me know that I'm not alone.
Oh, yeah... you see that new icon in the top right hand corner? I recently joined Top Mommy Blogs. The blogs are ranked by number of votes. Just click it and you'll vote for me. Please do me a favor and click it each time you visit me....I sure would like to move up from my current rank of 401!